I wouldn't say I am an expert in this topic nor would i say that i am an ametuer. I am somehow inspired to do this post as I feel that it will benefit my fellow readers, especially for those whom are in a relationship or even those whom are married. You will definitely agree with some of the points I've mentioned in this post.
I have been in a relationship of 6 years ++ with my then boyfriend, and now husband of coming to 2 years. This October, we will be celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. My hubby makes it a point to celebrate this special occasion with me every year (so far for the past 2 years, including the year we got married).
So you may ask, what keeps a relationship alive? Or what keeps us happy together? There is really no golden rule here but more like asking, what is comfortable for the both of you. Lets see what works for you. Here are some of the things that I think worked out for us. Feel free to share with me in the comments below on any tips if you have.
#1: Communication
It is of utmost importance to communicate with each other on a daily basis. For women, it is all about feelings. Woman are feeling creatures (agree?) We want to know how is your day at work, what went right and what went wrong? It can be the simplest thing like a funny incident you had or what you ate for lunch. Men, please do not give us single word answers like. "Okay." Or reply us with sentences like "Same as yesterday". Make an effort to talk to each other even if you don't see each other everyday.
#Tips#
Know your partner's language of love
There are 5 love languages as defined by Gary Chapman:
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical Touch
#2: Doing things you love together
In a relationship, its all about "US", about "WE". Make an effort to be together doing the things you love. It could be playing a simple sport like Badminton, going for a swim or even Bowling. It can also be traveling to a new holiday destination or checking out a new restaurant in town. Both of us love traveling, ever since our dating days we have made it a point to go for a holiday together. It need not be expensive or far away, we just enjoy checking out new places and being with each other. It's all about spending time together.
#Tips#
Visit a new restaurant or attraction together. You will get closer in the process of planning, discussion and having fun together.
#3: Marriage Preparation Course
Are you a couple who are planning to get married? Go and attend a Marriage Preparation Course together. Its kind of an irony why you need to attend this course right? Trust me, we went through this course together and it really helps us to know each other better, laying the necessary foundation for our future. There are many things which you would never consider or think about until you experience it after marriage. Who does what chores? How do you plan your finances? Who pays the bills? When is the right time to visit your in-laws? This course will make you think about them as a couple.
#4: Respect each other
Different individuals have different thoughts, values and mindsets. Men and women act and response differently. If you have read, Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by John Gray, you will know what i meant. We need to learn to give in sometimes and think in the other party's shoe. Men, please don't take advantage of us ladies and expect us to give in to you all the time. If you are a good men, you should learn to love your girlfriend/wife and make them happy. Woman, don't be too demanding and expecting everything will go your way.
#5: Personal Time and space
No doubt you are a couple, you still need to have some ME time. Respect your other partner's time to be spent alone, with their other family member as well as friends. It will be the best if you can spend time with their friends and family but ME time allows one to have freedom to do something which he/she likes and you may not like to do.
#6: Surprise each other sometimes
Woman love surprises! And I am sure man too! I loved to play a game of hide and seek by keeping presents all over and giving my husband a hard time hunting for his gift. Guess what's my retribution? He did the same to me when he proposed to me. By springing a surprise with a line of "Save me!" Care bears bearing clues to the location of my engagement ring. Sweet?
#7: Be responsible for each other
Keeping a pet together somehow brings us closer as a couple too. We learn to take care of our "children" (A.K.A : 2 Guinea Pigs & 1 Senior Dog) together. Once, we even kept Shirmps. We researched together, learned and share information. This process bonds us closer and makes us more responsible as we not only learned to care for the pets but care more for each other's well-being. They are like our children and we are accountable to them.
#8: Love each other as who they are
You may have heard of this saying "The leopard will never change it's spots". Why do you want to change your partner into someone else which he/she wasn't to suit into the mould that you think he/she should be? This will only cause unhappiness. You wouldn't like if someone tries to change you too!
#9: Trust
Trust your partner. This is especially true when he/she is not around with you. Trust is very important and also the most difficult to maintain. Once broken, it is difficult to fix. Please do not betray each other and BE faithful to your partner and your relationship. There are millions of other men/woman out there, but you have chosen only him/her. Learn to treasure as fate is hard to come by.
#10: Love like there's no tomorrow
I am not encouraging PDA (Public Display of Affection) here. Tell your partner that you love him/her every opportunity that you can grab hold of. Love like today is the last day of your life remembering the last love message your partner mentioned to you. Me and my husband have a pact, although its very difficult, we try our best to behold. "To end and settle all quarrels before we go to bed." Do not sweep problems under the carpet. Solve it together, communicate.
I sincerely hoped you have benefited from my 10 tips. Stay happy as a couple! Share with me your views! :)
XoXo,
Pearly Tan
I have been in a relationship of 6 years ++ with my then boyfriend, and now husband of coming to 2 years. This October, we will be celebrating our Wedding Anniversary. My hubby makes it a point to celebrate this special occasion with me every year (so far for the past 2 years, including the year we got married).
So you may ask, what keeps a relationship alive? Or what keeps us happy together? There is really no golden rule here but more like asking, what is comfortable for the both of you. Lets see what works for you. Here are some of the things that I think worked out for us. Feel free to share with me in the comments below on any tips if you have.
#1: Communication
It is of utmost importance to communicate with each other on a daily basis. For women, it is all about feelings. Woman are feeling creatures (agree?) We want to know how is your day at work, what went right and what went wrong? It can be the simplest thing like a funny incident you had or what you ate for lunch. Men, please do not give us single word answers like. "Okay." Or reply us with sentences like "Same as yesterday". Make an effort to talk to each other even if you don't see each other everyday.
#Tips#
Know your partner's language of love
There are 5 love languages as defined by Gary Chapman:
1) Words of Affirmation
2) Quality Time
3) Gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical Touch
#2: Doing things you love together
In a relationship, its all about "US", about "WE". Make an effort to be together doing the things you love. It could be playing a simple sport like Badminton, going for a swim or even Bowling. It can also be traveling to a new holiday destination or checking out a new restaurant in town. Both of us love traveling, ever since our dating days we have made it a point to go for a holiday together. It need not be expensive or far away, we just enjoy checking out new places and being with each other. It's all about spending time together.
#Tips#
Visit a new restaurant or attraction together. You will get closer in the process of planning, discussion and having fun together.
#3: Marriage Preparation Course
Are you a couple who are planning to get married? Go and attend a Marriage Preparation Course together. Its kind of an irony why you need to attend this course right? Trust me, we went through this course together and it really helps us to know each other better, laying the necessary foundation for our future. There are many things which you would never consider or think about until you experience it after marriage. Who does what chores? How do you plan your finances? Who pays the bills? When is the right time to visit your in-laws? This course will make you think about them as a couple.
#4: Respect each other
Different individuals have different thoughts, values and mindsets. Men and women act and response differently. If you have read, Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus by John Gray, you will know what i meant. We need to learn to give in sometimes and think in the other party's shoe. Men, please don't take advantage of us ladies and expect us to give in to you all the time. If you are a good men, you should learn to love your girlfriend/wife and make them happy. Woman, don't be too demanding and expecting everything will go your way.
#5: Personal Time and space
No doubt you are a couple, you still need to have some ME time. Respect your other partner's time to be spent alone, with their other family member as well as friends. It will be the best if you can spend time with their friends and family but ME time allows one to have freedom to do something which he/she likes and you may not like to do.
#6: Surprise each other sometimes
Woman love surprises! And I am sure man too! I loved to play a game of hide and seek by keeping presents all over and giving my husband a hard time hunting for his gift. Guess what's my retribution? He did the same to me when he proposed to me. By springing a surprise with a line of "Save me!" Care bears bearing clues to the location of my engagement ring. Sweet?
#7: Be responsible for each other
Keeping a pet together somehow brings us closer as a couple too. We learn to take care of our "children" (A.K.A : 2 Guinea Pigs & 1 Senior Dog) together. Once, we even kept Shirmps. We researched together, learned and share information. This process bonds us closer and makes us more responsible as we not only learned to care for the pets but care more for each other's well-being. They are like our children and we are accountable to them.
#8: Love each other as who they are
You may have heard of this saying "The leopard will never change it's spots". Why do you want to change your partner into someone else which he/she wasn't to suit into the mould that you think he/she should be? This will only cause unhappiness. You wouldn't like if someone tries to change you too!
#9: Trust
Trust your partner. This is especially true when he/she is not around with you. Trust is very important and also the most difficult to maintain. Once broken, it is difficult to fix. Please do not betray each other and BE faithful to your partner and your relationship. There are millions of other men/woman out there, but you have chosen only him/her. Learn to treasure as fate is hard to come by.
#10: Love like there's no tomorrow
I am not encouraging PDA (Public Display of Affection) here. Tell your partner that you love him/her every opportunity that you can grab hold of. Love like today is the last day of your life remembering the last love message your partner mentioned to you. Me and my husband have a pact, although its very difficult, we try our best to behold. "To end and settle all quarrels before we go to bed." Do not sweep problems under the carpet. Solve it together, communicate.
I sincerely hoped you have benefited from my 10 tips. Stay happy as a couple! Share with me your views! :)
XoXo,
Pearly Tan
